Remember

Today I'll start by saying I am going to ramble for a while so you may want to just ignore me. :) The beauty of the Internet is you can go on and on, pouring out your soul, and a dear friend or family member or a total stranger may or may not read it. You'll never know, but you get to speak your mind, nevertheless. :)

To begin, I will get to the true reason for this blog, how Jim is doing. He has not felt very good lately. We saw the doctor today and they have changed some of his prescriptions to try to alleviate some of his nausea and pain. In addition to his treatments, he will also come in every few days for a bit for some extra fluids. They think it will help with some of his fatigue and appetite loss. Fingers crossed!
As we all know, at times it's easier to get bogged down in our troubles than it is to "remember" to be thankful. I am struggling pretty hard at the time with feeling sorry for myself. However, there is so much to be thankful for. I don't even know where to begin with all that goes through my mind. What I do know is God is good and there's no one who's more blessed than I.

There are countless ways to be thankful in all circumstances. When things go wrong, it really opens your eyes to all the good around you. You have to let go of all the little things that before seemed so important and suddenly you are aware of what REALLY matters. (I will also add that sometimes a tiny thing can seem catastrophic. :] ) You learn to let go and lean on those who love you and you realize they have always been there waiting to help in any way. You get to hear people say they love you and say it to them without it feeling awkward. Why do we make it awkward? We all need love and prayers, in good and bad times. You allow things that can wait to do so and you take care of what needs to be. This is just a tiny few things that seem to be on my mind. I would also add, being sick exposes you to a whole world of people who have chosen to care for those unfortunate souls who are not well. Their concern and compassion for you is sometimes unbelievable. Jim's nurse, Lisa, is an angel on Earth. She hurts when we hurt and cries when we get bad news, but she's also our number one cheerleader and always greets us with encouragement and a smile. The people in this clinic spend each day watching people struggle with this wicked disease called cancer. And yet, they seldom don't have a smile on their faces. I'm here to tell you, that's a miracle folks! 

Our Thanksgiving was pretty rough. Jim didn't feel good most of time and we cut our visit a little short. But it was so wonderful to have our girls with us and to spend time with friends we don't see too often. I'm also very thankful my Momma and family was able to spend Thanksgiving with my brother Gene and his wife. My nephew Josh and his family came from Texas. We don't get to see them much, so it was great to get in a short visit. It's always so good to step away from everyday life and enjoy just being with those you hold close to your heart. It would be better for all of us if we took the time to do it more often.

As always, thank you for loving us. We love you too!

P.S. I told you it was a rambling kind of day. Please ignore my many errors! :)

A Lot To Take In

This conversation between my daughters says so much more than all of the information I am about to add to this post. So, as you read, please pray for us to keep Tae's sweet words close to our hearts. Sometimes it is very hard to remain strong, even when you know God's promises. The here and now can be a scary and exhausting place, no matter how "tough" you try to be.

I don't know how to begin so I guess I will just try to turn off my emotions and lay it all out for you. Be forgiving of my grammatical/usage mistakes. I'm sure there are many!

Jim had scans and we met with his doctor earlier this week and the news was not good. Just to recap from a few months ago, his results showed only growth in his liver so we went to Tulsa to do radiation specifically for that. That was a two-step procedure in August and September. The outcome has turned out not to be positive. His latest tests show increased, as well as new growth in his liver. Additionally, he now has some nodules in one lung, as well as some cancerous lymph nodes in his abdomen.  So not good news, but we will just keep on keepin' on as they say.

They have started him on another regimen of chemotherapy. It is one that he has had in the past, but they are giving it to him in a different way and with some other medicines. The last time he got it, the side effects weren't too severe so he is giving it a try. If he tolerates it okay, he'll continue this over an eight week period. At that time, they will do scans again.

We can only pray that his body responds well. He has some pain and a lot of fatigue, but remains very determined to fight. And, as you all know, he is a very determined man!

As always, love to you all!